Unicorn Loveliness...and Emotions

Here's my lovely unicorn painting, based on Princess Celestia, which I own. Would you believe that my son gave me a My Little Pony for my birthday? She has wings, a crown, pretty turquoise and purple hair and when you push her button, she says nice things like, "Let's fly to the castle!", "Spectacular!", "My barrettes look so pretty!", "I love to make new friends!", and my favorite, "I'm a princess, are you a princess too?" And her wings light up! She's awesome. She's like a totem to remind myself to stay positive.

Speaking of staying positive, I've come to a greater realization about my emotions. I've been having some strong angry feelings of late because of an end-of-the-year pizza party at preschool and my son's level 5 dairy allergy. It stirs up feelings from last year, it makes me anxious, it makes me feel wronged, I could go on and on. However, I realize that it's okay to let myself have these emotions. It's when I start to say, "I shouldn't feel this way!" "This is bad!", that this judgment of my feelings makes me feel worse. In Zen, there is a saying, "When it is hot, the heat kills the monk." When it is hot, be hot. Feel that thing completely. When I am angry, I just feel angry. When you are sad, be sad. It might take me awhile or a walk in the back bay to cool down, but this is the way of the Tao. The resistance to our human nature causes us suffering. I suffer more when I resist what is. And since there is always impermanence, our feelings and their energy will change over time. I just took an hour walk in the Back Bay and already, I am feeling better and a little lighter.

I will share a verse from "The Dragon Who Never Sleeps" by Robert Aitken Roshi

When anger or sadness arises
I vow with all beings
to accept my emotional nature-
it's how I embody the Tao.

I get in the most trouble when I say to myself that I shouldn't feel a certain way or have a certain emotion. If I just let myself feel it, I can move on more easily.